So it's Friday night, and I realize how much of a complete loser this makes me that I'm sitting here typing on my blog rather than out doing something fun. The truth is I don't even know what would be considered fun to me. Sure there could be spending time with friends, going to movies, LAN parties, all sorts of things, but I'm just not interested tonight. So I'm sitting here drinking coffee watching old corny movies on NetFlix.
Unfortunately, I'm still bored. Bored to tears really. Humans weren't made to be alone, especially on Friday night. There is really very little to do around this silly old town that I'm beginning to wonder why I'm still here. The short answer is, I really have no idea. I would say that I'm stuck here, but I'm really not. There is nothing keeping me here. I'm single, don't have a job, and the best thing that I can think to do on Friday night is sit and drink coffee and watch Bruce Willis sing songs while he's robbing the Louvre.
How sad does this really make me? Not very. When I get to bored I'll just go to bed, not that I think I could really sleep, after all, I've been drinking coffee all night. I'm sure I've got a book somewhere that I haven't read a dozen times, that could occupy me, but not really interested in reading. The options are getting worn down, and the more that I sit and think about it, the sadder my life is really shaping up to be.
So tonight I'm trying this. I'm trying to complain about my life but at the same time keep myself optimistic; it's not working very well. Tomorrow is Saturday, and if I end up sitting at home being all lame and have a follow up to this filth, I'll be really worried.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
My Runner's High
Pedal backwards through my blog a little bit and you come across what I resolved to acomplish for this year. First on the list is that silly Marathon that I agreed to do with my brother-in-law. Today was a tipping point in my training. I've been out the last week with sore muscles, yes I'm a wuss, but I don't want to hurt myself like I have so many times in the past because I pushed myself too hard, too soon. Today was different.
I started my run off today like I do every time. I move my legs vigorously, whether that is running in place or just shaking them like I'm doing 'the Charelston', it doesn't really matter to me. I need blood flow to my legs. I stretch, don't want to pull a muscle, again, then I start out slow.
As I started to run down Cherokee, a road behind my sister's house, I noticed that my body felt good. It felt GOOD. Man, I tell you, It felt amazing. I haven't felt the way I did today in a very long time. So what do you do when you feel good? You run faster, and I did. My origional plan for the day was about a 3 mile loop around the blocks by where I'm living, but that didn't work out so well for me.
I was running down Jasper Rd, and I realized that I could go on at my pace for a long time. I picked up the pace and continued past what would have been my last turn and return home. I felt so good, I didn't really want to stop. I toyed with the idea of adding another 4 miles on my run, but resisted. After all, I am a bit of an experienced runner and didn't want to over do it. Instead I settled on about a 6 mile run through the surrounding neighborhood.
What I felt today I can only describe as a runner's high. I haven't had a good high in a while so I'm not sure if that's what I was actually experiencing, but I tell you, if I feel like that when I do finally run my marathon, I'm going to be in good shape.
I started my run off today like I do every time. I move my legs vigorously, whether that is running in place or just shaking them like I'm doing 'the Charelston', it doesn't really matter to me. I need blood flow to my legs. I stretch, don't want to pull a muscle, again, then I start out slow.
As I started to run down Cherokee, a road behind my sister's house, I noticed that my body felt good. It felt GOOD. Man, I tell you, It felt amazing. I haven't felt the way I did today in a very long time. So what do you do when you feel good? You run faster, and I did. My origional plan for the day was about a 3 mile loop around the blocks by where I'm living, but that didn't work out so well for me.
I was running down Jasper Rd, and I realized that I could go on at my pace for a long time. I picked up the pace and continued past what would have been my last turn and return home. I felt so good, I didn't really want to stop. I toyed with the idea of adding another 4 miles on my run, but resisted. After all, I am a bit of an experienced runner and didn't want to over do it. Instead I settled on about a 6 mile run through the surrounding neighborhood.
What I felt today I can only describe as a runner's high. I haven't had a good high in a while so I'm not sure if that's what I was actually experiencing, but I tell you, if I feel like that when I do finally run my marathon, I'm going to be in good shape.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
More on Fear
These last few weeks I've been taking a class called Restoration. I'm learning all about my faith and how to finally do a lot of the things that many Christians do as second nature, that I somehow missed. I'm learning, and I love the new things that I'm learning about how to get closer to God.
I read books, a lot a lot of books, not a typo, just typed double. I love reading. A few years ago I read something about fear. The question was, 'what is the opposite of fear?'. The answer given in the book is 'Love'. My friend Cliff and I discussed it, and we finally settled on it being a satisfactory answer.
It wasn't until very recently that I started thinking about that question a little bit more. I don't see the opposite of fear being love anymore and I'll try to explain what is in my head right now. Love I see more as the antithesis of Hate. They are the strongest emotions I've ever experienced and both lead you to doing silly things. But I've experienced fear while being filled with both Love and Hate, so how can either be fear's opposite.
So what is the opposite of fear? I've recently heard fear being described as anticipation of future pain. I loved this description. I'm starting to now see the opposite of fear as the perfect experience of living right now. Thinking about what fear does for you, it's nothing. The times that you experience fear are never times of...
I just had myself a revelation. I am going to call the opposite of fear, victory. I have no idea why this came to me. When you are experiencing victory, you are perfectly in right now. You want to experience every moment of your victory so you are at home. You are all in that time at that spot. In times of fear, you're looking around the corner, never where you are right now.
My advice to people is going to experience victory, constantly. Love every moment for just that moment. You have won over fear, experience your victory.
I read books, a lot a lot of books, not a typo, just typed double. I love reading. A few years ago I read something about fear. The question was, 'what is the opposite of fear?'. The answer given in the book is 'Love'. My friend Cliff and I discussed it, and we finally settled on it being a satisfactory answer.
It wasn't until very recently that I started thinking about that question a little bit more. I don't see the opposite of fear being love anymore and I'll try to explain what is in my head right now. Love I see more as the antithesis of Hate. They are the strongest emotions I've ever experienced and both lead you to doing silly things. But I've experienced fear while being filled with both Love and Hate, so how can either be fear's opposite.
So what is the opposite of fear? I've recently heard fear being described as anticipation of future pain. I loved this description. I'm starting to now see the opposite of fear as the perfect experience of living right now. Thinking about what fear does for you, it's nothing. The times that you experience fear are never times of...
I just had myself a revelation. I am going to call the opposite of fear, victory. I have no idea why this came to me. When you are experiencing victory, you are perfectly in right now. You want to experience every moment of your victory so you are at home. You are all in that time at that spot. In times of fear, you're looking around the corner, never where you are right now.
My advice to people is going to experience victory, constantly. Love every moment for just that moment. You have won over fear, experience your victory.
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