A Stubborn Loss

I don't speak much to my little brother. For a long time he has had it in his mind that relying on anyone for anything is a sure sign of weakness and he doesn't need any of that. Unfortunately for him, this self-reliance extends to God. He doesn't think that he needs him, and nothing that I can say to him will make him change his mind.

To expand this a little bit, I should tell a little bit about the relationship that my little brother and I have. He's now 25, 26 in a month, and I think in all that time we've only really got along well for a month. That's one month out of the 284 months that we've actually had a good relationship. I would like to think that there was a good reason for this, but the unfortunate truth of it is, I have no idea why. Growing up he would push buttons to get a rise from me. I would hurt him in all ways that I could and he would just go running to mom and dad for rescue, and in the event that they weren't available, call grandma. This continued pretty much until I went to college.

During college we lived 3000 miles apart and when I graduated he was still in Hawaii, a long ways away. There seemed to be enough distance at that point for him to forget that he didn't like me, or me him. He would visit at holidays and there would be one or two days that we actually got along before I remembered why he got on my nerves so much. Our personalities just don't work well.

One of the hardest things that I've had to do for my little brother recently is forgive him for driving me crazy, and I do. Don't let the above misdirect you. I didn't put it down because I'm bitter, just to give readers an idea of the continuing conflict that has gone on for years and years. I love the kid, even when we argue.

Last night I think I finally got a point in a conversation that can be a seed for the great things that God has for him. While talking he more or less said that he didn't need to rely on God. Without telling him how misguided he is (he won't ever read this) I managed to show him how poorly my life was going without God. He didn't want to hear any of it and quickly stopped talking, but my point was made. I hope he realizes that there are people out there that he can rely upon and he doesn't need to live this life alone.