Just a Man

I like to think that I'm important. Really important. Like... so important you just can't imagine how important that I really am until you understand the scope of reality that I'm really a part of. Yes... that makes me very arrogant, and I'm OK with that as long as you understand, that I'm very important. Or at least that's what I thought until Thursday of this week.

In trying to prove to myself how great I am... I performed a RUMJUNGLE. For those of you who don't know what that is... a rumjungle is when you draw attention to yourself to do something that is far and away cooler than anything that you've ever seen before, and then you totally blow it and end up looking like a complete idiot, or... fill in your own adjective.

Growing up I've always associated the humility of great men with the phrase "I put my pants on one leg at a time". In order to prove that I am greater than any great man... of course I have to put both legs in at the same time... It failed!!

I have a very good vertical leap. I ran track and am quite athletic and among my other events, I was a high jumper, so I figured I would have the time, and after all it was only a pair of shorts. I leaped into the air and threw my shorts under me to catch both legs as they passed through leaving me standing with my pants in place and catapulting me into the annals of greatness along such people as Walter Payton and the guy that invented silly putty. Upon my return trip to Earth, one of my feet caught and I ended up sprawled out on the floor with one leg half in, and just my foot of the other. There was no one watching, but my pride took a tumble and I must for once and all, accept that I am... Just a Man, and I must put on my pants, one leg at a time.