Crater Lake

Oregon is amazing. There are some of the most beautiful places on the planet right in our back yard. We have mountains and lakes and rivers among deserts and the ocean. We really have all kinds of things. Today was about a lake, but not just any lake, a crater.

Southern Oregon in the winter yields some large amounts of snow in the winter months. Today I got up close with some 3 feet of it on the rim of an ancient volcano. Mt. Mazama was about 12000 feet of pristeen cascade mountain set between what is presently Roseburg and Klamath Falls. Some 7000 years ago it decided it no longer wanted to be a mountain. The magma chamber underneath the mountain pushed through the crust of the Earth and became above the crust of the Earth in a giant eruption. Without the magma to hold up the peak of the mountain collapsed into itself and became a great crater.

Time passed and presently there is 1900 ft of water covering the remains of what was once possibly the highest mountain in Oregon. Surround the caldera of this with snow and you can see the image of surreal beauty that I witnessed today. On two days notice, my friend Nate and I took the trip to the rim and stood in awe as we looked out on Crater Lake.

After a conversation with my dad last week, I wasn't really looking forward to the view as I should have. His comment said simply that if you have seen any picture of the lake on a clear day then you have seen the lake and don't really need to see it in person. A grossly inaccurate assessment. My first view of the lake, I commented on the walls of the crater being taller than I thought they would be. I then realized that there was a perfect reflection of the sky about 1000 feet below me. Walking along the rim, Nate and I sat and enjoyed lunch looking out on the lake. We calmly chatted about this and that then walked along the rim of the crater. There was along the rim a rock wall that we found comfortable to sit on and stare at an unobstructed view of the lake.

Never having been to the lake before today, I didn't know what to think as we drove there this morning. I simply do not have the words to tell you what went through my mind. You can see 100 pictures of it, but until you experience God's Majesty, you've never seen Crater Lake. I sat in awe, silently enjoying my company and God's brush on the Earth. It's still just a crater with a lake in the bottom of it, but it's now part of my experience and one that I will never forget. I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths just to feel as close to the Lake as possible. Someday I will return and enjoy the scenery once again, but the first images in my mind will last forever.

Slowing Down

I'm moving forward. I have a full head of steam and I know that my life is going to get better in the near future. I know so well in fact that God has such great things planned for me that I'm not afraid to tell people about it. This comes of very poorly and looks as if I'm boasting, but indeed, these great things can be had by everyone. Simply put your faith in God and he'll put you on the path that will truly bless you.

Struggling seems to be the way of things for me over the last couple years. I reacted very poorly to a situation and threw myself into another situation. Thinking I could solve that problem with action, I threw myself into another course wich just ended in more disaster. The bottom is very dark, but looking up I can see plenty of light and a whole lot of people there to lift me up.

Now that I'm ready to move along, my plan is to slow down. Here is where I enter all the cliche phrases that everyone loves to say, but they are very true. When is the last time you climbed a tree? Listened to the rain? Sat with someone and never said a word? I'm going to take time for me, remember all the things that make me, me, and move forward as slowly as possible.

I sit here now listening to the raid outside and realize that I grew up listening to it and enjoying it hit my window, drip off the corners of the house and put me to sleep. I slept well back them, maybe because the things that I thought were important didn't weigh me down like they do now, or they just weren't that important. The rain still hits my window and drips off my house. It hasn't changed, so I'm forced to concede that I've changed. I went and got myself all growed up to where I have to be responsilbe. I shouldn't be awake at 1 in the morning, but I am, and the rain is far more soothing than someone talking my ear off. I love the company of other people. I like hearing about them, about their day and about their likes and dislikes, but right now I'm loving the rain, dripping off the side of my house.

An Instant Message

I ran track. I wasn't terrible at it and when I went to college I gave up the whole football thing to turn toward running, which meant cross country. Now, as far as distance running, I've run the occasional road race and once in a while a mile during PE class, but cross country!? What on earth was I thinking?

College became a difficult time for me. I played a game that I was really good at but never bonded with the coaching staff very well, therefore I quit. Focusing on my own physical shape and my running ability. In doing so I made some really great friends and then found a guy, in my track coach, that I could bond with as a mentor. He acted in many ways like my dad while I was in college and pushed me to be the best I could possibly be.

Sundays turned into more of a relaxing in the pool sort of day. After a week of torturing your body, it needs some rest. Garry, my track coach, was a big fan of Aqua Joggers. If you're not familiar with Aqua Joggers or Aqua Belts, they are a buoyant belt that you put around your waist to stay afloat while you jogged in circles around a pool.

During a workout one Sunday, my buddy Kelly and I got separated from the rest of everyone that was jogging and we were just chewing the fat. Garry prowled the edge of the pool as he always did and tried to stay interested in what his athletes were in to. Kelly and I talked about all kinds of BS and that day we were talking about instant messager. Garry overheard and asked what we were talking about.

"Well Garry, we're talking about instant messager"

"I've got an instant message for ya"

At that point Garry eloquently extended his middle finger in a gesture commonly called "the bird" or "birdie". Kelly and I nearly drowned in the effort to laugh and jog at the same time.

Last week Kelly was nice enough to remind me of this little adventure and I only have to think of it to laugh a little.

Holy Spirit Baptism

I was baptized as a child. My parents, family, grandparents, and the rest of my world was Catholic. As an infant, you really don't even know what is going on and all the promises that are made are made by people speaking for you. The commitment really isn't your own as an infant, but instead is a promise by others for you. I was later baptised by a preacher named Dan in a horse trough shortly after graduating from college. There was a lot that I still didn't quite understand, but I was on my way to a bigger world of freedom through Christ.

About a month ago I began to realize that there was a distinct difference between water baptism and Holy Spirit Baptism. I was shocked to realize that there was more to baptism that being dipped under water and committing to a belief in Christ. There was a spirit of God that he calls us to be filled with, and anything that God calls us to do just isn't optional.

My associate Pastor invited me to explore holy spirit baptism for myself... so I did. Today during worship, I was filled with an uncontrollable desire to know God more intimately, to know what he has for me, and pursue him with everything in me. I could see clearly this meant the spirit within me. Making excuses not to was no longer and option that I could live with and even feel close to God. I knew too much and knowing made me pursue. God's spirit needs to live in me.

After service today, a group of passionate men, all very respected by me and have had a large part in the growth of my faith in the past months prayed over me and with me. Among the things that took place was one of them touched the inside of my eyes, my tear ducts. I've thought for a long time that it was impossible for me to cry, but I found out today that it isn't. Uncontrollable tears flowed from my eyes... not for very long, but they flowed, I wasn't sobbing, just crying. I felt close to each of the men with me as I never had and more important I felt a true desire to discover all I could about Christ.

So what's next? Historically I've always been a pessimist, well, almost always. One of the words from Jack after was about me searching optimistic things about God. This caught me a bit off guard, but they gave me a road map to get to know the Lord better. I will always be seeking to know Christ more and to spend time with him and I feel like today was a giant step into his presence.

Wanderings

For the past several months I've been wandering around with really no direction. Day to day, was... well... only day to day. I had no thoughts of next week, or the week after, all I had was some obscure hope of things to come far down the road. I don't know when they were going to happen, just that I hoped that they would.

For a while I've been meeting with Jerry Tubbs. He's been acting as a mentor to me as I try to find footing on a spiritual path that not only glorifies God, but gives me some sort of direction. With his help I've learned to trust God and I've also learned that I can hear him much more clearly than I ever thought possible. Jerry has been a blessing in my life like few others.

So what do I do with this? That day out in the future is starting to shape itself around me. By hearing God speak to me I've found a place that not only lifts up my fellow believers, but helps my own faith as well. Doing the Lords work is truly a blessing, and all the things that I've fought to get under control in my life, I've surrendered to his wisdom, and wouldn't you know it, they are resolving quite nicely. There's still a few things that I need to fine tune, but for the most part with His wonderful help, I'm getting by just fine.

This next stage in my life is a greater mystery than the last, but I feel confident that I'm not going alone and the people that are around me will not only lift me up, but also pray with me when things are starting to go South, which would give me a new opportunity to trust in God's wisdom and develop a greater faith in him. He has blessed me greatly and I am eternally strengthened through him.