Life in the Slow Lane

When I went off to college I needed some way to get around, so before I went I purchased a bike that I could ride around campus and the area around school. I didn't want some cheap piece of junk so I spent around $400 for the thing, and sure enough, my roommate had a car so I rarely rode the thing. Over the next four years I continued to seldom ride the thing and after having it stolen twice and borrowed for 3 months by a friend, I returned home from school with a nearly brand new bike.

Move forward a few years. I have never really lived anywhere that I couldn't walk to places that were close by or that I could take public transport so I was always in a car nearly everywhere that I went. I've become accustom to driving and the freedom of the open road. The last 2 years has seen a change in my transportation habits that is starting to annoy me.

There is nothing quite like a suspended drivers license. It's a way for the DMV to say we don't trust you driving a car anymore, and it sucks. One thing about it though, that bike of mine would never be taken for nearly 10 years old and this town isn't so big that you can't get there on a bike, so for the last several months I've been getting used to the city bus and where the bike paths go. It's not a bad ride across town and can actually be more relaxing along the river than on the road. Riding is always slower, but I'm getting in the habit of slowing down. Who knows? I might learn to drive the speed limit soon, when I get my lisence of course.

I don't mind taking it easy, but I like a box of steel around me and 4 wheels toward freedom. Maybe someday they'll trust me to drive again, but until then I get to live life in the slow lane.

Faith Tested

I'll start in the middle, go to the beginning, and then move to what is going on now, and I'm not sure that I believe it myself, so don't worry if you do or not.

Last night while headed to the Scandanavian Festival in Junction City, a friend of mine was following me but we got separated in the drive. I waited along the side of a road while she caught up and a county sheriff pulled up behind me and turned on his lights. He came to the window of the car and announced that I had expired tags and got the usual array of paper work from me before returning to his car.

I need to jump back to the beginning of this story really quick. In May, a friend of mine had several family members in town from around the country and there was a BBQ at his parents house. While leaving this BBQ I was pulled over for "Failure to Yield". I couldn't find the proof of insurance for the car but the cop didn't see reason to cite me and let me go about my way, there was someone in my car with me, and they will say the same thing here. Apparently I was cited and was to have a court date on June 11th. Without a citation, I had no idea that I was to appear in court and did not. On that date my lisence was suspended without my knowledge and I have been driving in this fashion since.

You would think that they would mail me a notice of suspension, and they very well could have except for a clerical error made by the DMV. When I received my lisence back after several months of suspension, I had moved and was living where I currently do. The address on my ID card was different and therefore I had to change the address. I filled out the paperwork and got my lisence, which nowadays they give you a paper one, and mail you your hard copy. My real lisence was mailed to my current address bearing a different address. How? I'm not sure, but needless to say, I never received a notice and this may well be why.

Fast forward again to last night. The deputy returned to my car to announce that my car was to be impounded, my lisence confiscated, and I was given a very heavy fine for my trouble. The meaning of all of this stuff I may never know, but I must say that I've had enough trouble lately to last two lifetimes and I was beginning to wonder where it would end.

I went to church this morning without any of my usual luster, my enthusiasm to be around people, to get excited about God, and it showed. Several people could see through my fake smile and I just could not focus on anything but asking God Why? I still don't know, but in answer, a very good friend came up to me after service and gave me a much needed gift that pretty much erased any doubts about God that I may have had in walking into church this morning. He asked me not to say what and who, but I figure just that it was very needed and I received it isn't breaking his rules. God provides and not ever the way that you expect him to. Now I just get to figure out how he's going to help me with this one.

Middle School Camp

You can't start discussing middle school camp without first talking about Adam Tubbs. Adam is the guy sitting in charge of the middle school youth group and he's a bit strange. I've never actually met Adam. His father is my mentor, and I've known the lot of them for about 20 years now, but there was never a time when I got introduced, Adam, Jesse: Jesse, Adam.

This week, we didn't get introduced, but I got to know the guy a little bit, and I must say from the outside, if all I heard were the stories about this guy, I'd never let my kids go to a camp with him, but, having experienced his teaching, his passion, and his love for those kids, he's in the place he should be.

Something that I learned about the guy this week, Adam used to ride in the rodeo until he heard God say to pursue youth ministry. He sold off his rodeo gear bit by bit and... well... he bought a suit of armor. Yes, a suit of armor. This doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of the strange things about this guy; From the bottom of a dog pile he was asking if the 12 guys on top of him gave up; One of the games we played was called "Man Down" and the leaders got to kidnap stragglers from the group; for another event, treasure hunters had to find Adam and one of the other leaders, both wearing Gilly Suits, google them if you don't know what they are.

Adam brings spirit and enthusiasm to his teaching and conveys his passion for Christ's Love in his messages and the kids are fortunate to have him for their leader. I look forward to spending more time with Adam, the kids, and the wacky things that surround SFC youth ministry.

Vacation Bible School

There is nothing quite like being type-cast. When I was in college, I took part in the student directed plays and found out that I can be another person, if only for a short while, and pull it off well enough that it's believable. Twice during my senior year I played a character that was cocky, arogant, and many other kinds of ass-hole.

This week is Vacation Bible School at my church and I got pulled into the skit that is going on, or at least the part that went on last night. Of course, I landed the part of the senator, and he's, well... pompous and arrogant. I'm beginning to notice a pattern. I wonder If I'll ever really escape these kinds of rolls if and when I'm in another play.

For the beginning of the week and this skit, I've been helping out with the elementry school VBS and having a blast at it. After Tuesday, however, I'm headed to Cottage Grove to help with the middle school camp which is actually an over night camp, but I don't have to really respond to the kids while I'm there. I'm going as support for the leaders and to help clean up and set up the events that are taking place. I'm looking forward to it, not because I really want to help out at the camp, but who I get to spend time with.

The leader of Men's Ministry at SFC is Paul Blancher and he'll be doing the exact same thing that I am for the week and I get to room with him for the last few days of the week. In the evening I believe that we are watching some good "Man" movies and getting to spend time in fellowship.

It ought to be a good time and I'm really looking forward to the time with Paul and getting to know him.

Words from Paul

It's been easy for me to hide behind a mask these past several months, especially when I move into a new situation where people don't really know where I came from. I have a messy sort of past and few people can truly say that they know all about me because I'm not as open as I sometimes pretend to be. I've had my share of joys and pains and somehow have landed on my feet.

Paul says in Philippians 4:11-12

Not

that I was ever in need, for I have learned

how to be content with whatever I have. I

know how to live on almost nothing or with

everything. I have learned the secret of liv-

ing in every situation, whether it is with a

full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.

I know the truth of these words more than most. I know what it's like to be able to buy anything that you want without so much as a thought to how to pay for it. I have had money to spend, and spend it I did. Also, I know what it's like to pick between eating for a few days or paying a bill. Pride has always hampered me, but I'm learning to hard way to swallow what is left of it and be completely reliant on God for all of my needs. I look back on the recent past and even through the worst of my situations, there was always a way out, a back door that God left open that I could slip out when I was in such crisis that I needed out.

The strength of God strengthens me. I call his name and ask for a guiding light through the darkness. He comforts me watches over my path to keep the obstacles from becoming too great for a floundering sinner like myself. His great love for his people overwhelms me and stretches my arms to the church ceiling, eyes closed, voice raised up praising the glory that is the one True God.

God the Word

So, I finally did it, here at last is one of my devotionals from the day, and don't mind the spelling or the grammar, or even if you disagree with what I'm saying, it is mine after all, and you are either an internet ninja or a friend of mine, so spare my feelings, and just take it as my own interpretation of what God is telling me today.

In John 5:39-40 Jesus says, " You search the scriptures because you think they give you eternal life, but the scriptures point to me! Yet you refuse to come to me to receive this life."

God doesn't life in the words on the page, yet he speaks to us from them. As a human we go places to find God and forget we don't need to go to a "place". He certainly is there also, but we tend to limit his ability to be with us. God is there, no matter where "there" is, and many of us refuse to see him, even when he is holding out his arms and reaching for us, to embrace us with a fatherly hug. We forget that God works through the hearts of people around us, whether it's a phone call from a friend or a chance encounter with someone that is dear to you. His reach is infinite and we cannot begin to understand how he reaches into our lives.

The chair next to me, the passenger seat in my car, behind me in line, whereever it is, I lean towards forgetting that God is everywhere, and constantly my companion. Never is he condescending and always is he encouraging, when I forget he is there, when I step on someone, or when I just plain fall on my face, he always lifts me up and brushes the dust off my coat. Embraces me as his own and gives me the motivation to continue on my pursuit of him. He constantly reminds me to seek him even when I don't pay attention, and loves to take me by surprise with an old friend, or someone that I've been thinking about lately.

Love your Neighbor

I'm starting to get upset. It's my season to afflict the comfortable, and I feel like it needs to start in the church. Every week, I go to church and see tons of people that I don't know anything about. I've never spoken to them beyond a hello in passing as I'm coming and going from service. This never used to bother me, but lately, it eats at me like a fat kid on a twinkie.

Starting some time last year, I entered into a phase of my life that put me in over my head. Coming to grips with my spirituality has lead me down a road of disappointment and ultimately guilt. I now see how we all fall short of the glory of God, and though I'm still disappointed in myself, grace is a powerful thing, and I've accepted that there is only so much that I can do with my limited knowledge, so I'm trying. There are, however, people that I attend church with that never venture to another row, sit in the same place week after week, and hope that no one talks to them. I'm not one of these people. I used to pray for boldness, and if I continue to, I'll be pushing Dave off the stage so I can share with the congregation. Every week, I try to meet someone new, and I don't mean just their name, I like to get to know something about them, and sometimes if the mood strikes me, I'll make plans for coffee, just so I can get to know people that I share a love of God with. I see the whole range, some that duck when I walk up, some that shake my hand and we share a few kind words, and then, there's the one's like Jerry who gives me a hug and Steve and Dave have to wait for us to stop talking before service can continue.

Getting back to what is driving me crazy. Could you imagine if the professed love that comes out of a church, actually came out of a church. There would be two lines at homeless shelters, one for people that are eating and one for people that wanted to help, but then, why would you need to open shelters if those people were so willing to help, open homes work just as well to someone that was hungry. I try to cook for myself, and I suck at it, I usually make about 4 times too much food, but I try and eat it anyway, and just feel guilty when sometimes I throw it away because it sits in the fridge too long. Would anyone commit suicide anymore if there were 10 people genuinely concerned with them that called every day? I just now got off the phone with Jerry and we talked for 17 minutes about toast. Every funeral would have thousands of people at them, not just that knew the deceased, but people that want to be there to support those they love in a time of grief.

There are far too many what-ifs in this life for me to worry about what other people are doing to expand the kingdom of God on Earth, but I'll do my part, and for now, I think it's my place to afflict those that are comfortable with only going to church. I'm sorry if you're one of them, and you should probably not let me sit and talk to you, because I'll share everything with you and expect that you'll do the same, then worse, I'll ask you next week how you've been, and the next week, and then next... you get the idea.