Holy Spirit Baptism

I was baptized as a child. My parents, family, grandparents, and the rest of my world was Catholic. As an infant, you really don't even know what is going on and all the promises that are made are made by people speaking for you. The commitment really isn't your own as an infant, but instead is a promise by others for you. I was later baptised by a preacher named Dan in a horse trough shortly after graduating from college. There was a lot that I still didn't quite understand, but I was on my way to a bigger world of freedom through Christ.

About a month ago I began to realize that there was a distinct difference between water baptism and Holy Spirit Baptism. I was shocked to realize that there was more to baptism that being dipped under water and committing to a belief in Christ. There was a spirit of God that he calls us to be filled with, and anything that God calls us to do just isn't optional.

My associate Pastor invited me to explore holy spirit baptism for myself... so I did. Today during worship, I was filled with an uncontrollable desire to know God more intimately, to know what he has for me, and pursue him with everything in me. I could see clearly this meant the spirit within me. Making excuses not to was no longer and option that I could live with and even feel close to God. I knew too much and knowing made me pursue. God's spirit needs to live in me.

After service today, a group of passionate men, all very respected by me and have had a large part in the growth of my faith in the past months prayed over me and with me. Among the things that took place was one of them touched the inside of my eyes, my tear ducts. I've thought for a long time that it was impossible for me to cry, but I found out today that it isn't. Uncontrollable tears flowed from my eyes... not for very long, but they flowed, I wasn't sobbing, just crying. I felt close to each of the men with me as I never had and more important I felt a true desire to discover all I could about Christ.

So what's next? Historically I've always been a pessimist, well, almost always. One of the words from Jack after was about me searching optimistic things about God. This caught me a bit off guard, but they gave me a road map to get to know the Lord better. I will always be seeking to know Christ more and to spend time with him and I feel like today was a giant step into his presence.