If you go back far enough and find people that remember the hyper sensitive kid that I used to be. I would cry at any small infraction against me, and any hurt would be met with tears. You could honestly say that I could be called a crybaby. Let's face it, I was.
In these current times, I'm investigating who I really am. Things are sometimes good and sometimes bad, but for the most part I feel good about who I've become. In some of the classes that I've been taking it's really come down to some emotional topics that should affect me in ways that elicit some reaction, but for some reason I can't cry.
Tears just won't come. No matter what the topic is, no matter how sad, no matter how upset I am with a topic from the past, my eyes just can't leak. It drives me a bit crazy at times. Actually, it makes me quite mad at times. There are some times when I'm studying the bible or I'm talking with someone in a growth situation, I don't have an emotional response. Sometimes I even want to cry, but I can't. Why is this?
I love God! There is nothing that I wouldn't do if I truly felt his calling on my life, but the sad truth is, there is nothing more that I want to do for him than to cry. I want my eyes to open up and water, heavily water. I want to cry, but I don't know why I can't. So step on my foot, kick me in the shin, tell me you hate me, do what you must, but please don't settle for anything short of a tear from my eye.
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